


Stupid Creepy High School Boys In Love

by Crowleysheiress



Category: Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe, Faust - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Faust literally doesn't get that his best friend is in love with him, Gretchen literally has to tell him, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, because he is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowleysheiress/pseuds/Crowleysheiress
Summary: Yes I wrote a Faust x Mephisto High School AU, you can thank me later





	Stupid Creepy High School Boys In Love

**Author's Note:**

> So, my first work in this beautiful and sadly far too small fandom. Very exciting! I hope you all will enjoy my little self-indulgent au. Especially you Carla.

Stupid Creepy High School Boys in Love

 

„Gretchen? Don’t freak out right now, but you are being watched.“

Gretchen, who had been very intently focused on maneuvering a bite of mashed potato onto her fork, paused and and stared at her friend Marthe.

„What?“

„Shhhh!“ Marthe shushed her with an angry wave of her dessert spoon. „You have to act inconspicuous!“ She said and nearly twisted her neck to sneak a peek behind Gretchen at who or what was apparently watching them. How very inconspicuous. Not.

„Marthe. Who is watching us?“ Gretchen liked her friend, she really did, but Marthe did have a tendency to be a tad… overdramatic.

„That strange dude,“ she said absentmindly and stared right past her.

„What strange dude? We go to a High School, about every second guy in this cafeteria could be classified as strange.“

„I don’t know his name!“ Marthe said in a hiss. „You’ll have to see for yourself. But do it,“ her voice dropped down to a hushed whisper „inconspicuously.“

Gretchen had to almost physically resist the urge to roll her eyes.

Nevertheless, she turned her head around just enough to glimpse behind her. At first she saw nothing out of the ordinary, tables, half eaten lunches, two kids slapping each other in a playfight, but then…

No. Oh god. Oh no. Not again. Not him.

She spun her head back around and stared at her mashed potatoes as if they might save her from her watcher. This couldn’t be happening. 

„Gretchen? Are you alright?“ Even Marthe, though often oblivious, had noticed that her friend was troubled. Maybe the fact that she stared at her potatoes like they contained the answers to their next pre-calc exam had given it away.

„No.“

„…Oh! Is it because strange staring dude?“

Gretchen had to take a deep breath. 

„Yes. Yes it is because of strange staring dude.“

„I knew it!“ Marthe squeaked. „Well, who is he? You know that I made a vow never to notice another boy on purpose anymore, ever since my boyfriend died during the war. But I’d make an exception for you this time,“ she said generously.

Now Gretchen did have to roll her eyes. It was almost a reflex to this statement.

„Marthe. Your boyfriend didn’t go to war. He said he was going to get you some chicken nuggets from McDonald’s during the lunch rush and then sneaked out of the back door to avoid having to break up with you in person.“

Marthe pushed her lower lip forward and narrowed her eyes. A perfect impression of a pouting toddler.

„But you can’t prove that though!“

„He’s sitting at the other end of the room with his new girlfriend,“ Gretchen deadpanned.

Marthe closed her eyes and put her hands over them for good measure too. 

„I can’t tell, I suddenly can’t see anymore,“ she said, grinning. „But seriously, Gretchen,“ she asked and lowered her hands and opened her eyes. „Who is this guy?“

Gretchen sighed and let her head drop onto the table. 

„…Faust.“

For a second she thought that the exclamation of this name had actually been accompanied by theatrical thunder, but it was just Wagner, who had dropped his lunch tray.

Marthe however was even less than impressed.

„Who?“

„… You don’t know Faust?“ Gretchen asked in mild amazement and raised her head again. Could it really be that her friend didn’t know the scrouge of her existence ?

„Nope. Told you, not even looking at other guys since the war.“ Marthe said happily.

„Okay,“ said Gretchen and took a deep breath. „So. Faust. Faust is in literally every AP class that you could possibly take for some reason. That’s why he’s constantly stressed and looks like an insomniac zombie. He’s kind of a fuckboy. He wants to be a Doctor. His dad is the only pediatrician in town.I’m fairly sure that he is never entirely satisfied with anything, including himself. I am also at least 90 % convinced that he is a hobby satanist in his spare time. He also has got a massive crush on me.“

„Ohhhh!“ Said Marthe. Of course she had only heard the last sentence. „So that’s why he looks at you as if you’re Tom Hiddleston!“

„Exactly. It’s a nightmare.“

„What the fuck?“ Asked Marthe and raised both her eyebrows. „How is that a nightmare? His dad is a doctor, so he must have some serious cash and yeah he looks kinda weird, but he’s 16, which 16-year-old isn’t a little ugly? He can’t be that bad.“

Gretchen sighed and stared at her potatoes again. That’s what she had thought too. At first she had been flattered when it had become obvious that Faust liked her. Really liked her. After all which girl wouldn’t be intrigued to be at the center of attention of a boy who, at first glance, seemed to be actually decent. And Faust wasn’t completely horrible. He was smart, no doubt about that and he was much more serious and mature than other guys his age. Before and during the time they were dating he had given her presents more or less regulary and not just the usual box of chocolates. Books. Jewellery. Coupons for amusement parks and the mall. Expensive stuff. And that was just the material stuff. He could be sweet, really really sweet and compassionate and funny and generous, when he wasn’t being obsessive or creepy. But the point was that he was. 

Faust would show up at her house in the evenings, asking if she wanted „to hang“ about every night of the week. He always seemed sort of annoyed and vaguely pissed off when she told him she didn’t have time for him right now. His gifts became more and more expensive and seriously unacceptable for High School dating. Once he got her a chalice that appeared to be made out of solid gold and which looked like he might have straight up snatched it from a church. It had looked far too expensive and valuable for her to be even slightly comfortable with keeping it, so she had placed it in the foyer of the police station the next day, too scared to actually hand it in in person because what if he had actually stolen it? Gretchen had to be honest with herself because she did actually believe he might be capable of doing that. 

But she was derailing. The point was that in the evening the chalice had stood right on top of her desk, as if it had never been gone. She didn’t have any proof that Faust had gotten it back and had broken into her room to place it there, but, after all who else would have even known about that gift, she hadn’t told anybody? And, shit, it was creepy nonetheless. 

And then there had been all that talk about their future. Faust had talked about hers as if it was already inevitably interwoven with his. He talked about marriage and moving in together and having kids and having sex as if these were things she was even remotely interested in right now and was generally being a massive turn-off.

Overall, Faust was just a giant cacophony of vastly different impressions and characteristics.

„Marthe. I went on a few dates with him and just believe me he really is that bad.“

„Well if you don’t like him why don’t you just dump him? I mean it’s not like you’ve signed a contract to spend time with him.“ Marthe leaned to her side in order to watch Faust over Gretchen’s shoulder again, this time with a frown on her face.

„Do you think I haven’t thought about that? It’s not that easy,“ Gretchen murmured.

„Why? Does he magically get deaf whenever you want to talk about it or what?“

Gretchen didn’t bother answering, because it really wasn’t that simple. It was not that she was afraid of Faust, that certainly wasn’t the reason why she hadn’t cut ties with him yet. Even though he definitely was creepy. The truth was when you were 14 and not particulary pretty or particulary smart and also happened to be poor and the single caretaker for your disabled mom because your stupid brother decided to go to the marines, then being at the unshared center of a boy‘s, any boy’s, attention was pretty fucking nice. She liked that Faust seemed to be completely head over heels in love with her. She had never been that flattered in her life as when he had asked her to go out with him about three months ago.

She was just as pleased by his attention in her as she was repelled by it. And god she hated herself for it.

But that wasn’t just everything.

Gretchen Müller was a girl on a mission.

And the target of that mission was sitting right next to Faust, staring at him like an overgrown lovesick puppy.

„Marthe, do you see that boy sitting next to Faust?“ She asked.

„That sickly, pale guy?“

Gretchen whipped her head around for a millisecond to catch a glimpse of the table behind them.

„Ew, not Wagner,“ she said, scrunching up her nose. „I mean the guy on his other side.“

It was actually funny how Gretchen could pinpoint the exact moment that Marthe spotted Faust’s best friend and secret admirer Mephisto.

„Oh my god!“

„I know.“

„What the fuck?!“ 

„I know.“

Marthe sat, still as a statue, staring open-mouthed in the other direction and good Lord her eyes were actually glassing over.

„Gretchen. He is handsome.“

„I know. His name is Mephisto“ She really knew. Mephisto was hands down the best-looking guy in the entire term, scratch that, the entire school, probably the entire school district. He was about 18 years old (Faust had once told her that he missed two school years due to illness) but he looked like he might just as well be 25. His skin was clear, his hair was glossy, his shoulders were broad, his waist was slim, he had to shave daily and he had abs, atleast according to Faust. Sometimes Gretchen thought that Mephisto had either never gone through the unpleasant parts of puberty at all or that he must have had a his entire puberty condensed into one probably truly hellish year.

„Are you ready to hear a shocker, Marthe?“ Asked Gretchen and leaned a little closer to her friend.

„Yes!“ She exclaimed. Marthe loved gossip more than breathing.

„Mephisto is in love with Faust. And Faust has no idea.“ 

Marthe’s inhale of breath was almost comical, but her brows furrowed and Gretchen knew that she was seriously considering what she had told her.

She looked over to the opposite table again and this time Gretchen could see her eyes wandering slowly from Faust to Mephisto and back to Faust.

„… How can Mephisto be in love with Faust?“ She finally asked and crossed her arms. „I mean, Mephisto is so pretty and Faust is just… Faust. He can’t be this genuinely nice or interesting for this literal angel to fall in love with him!“

„Trust me. He isn’t.“

„And how come that Faust doesn’t notice? There is this beautiful handsome guy sitting right next to him, staring at him like he is the moon and the stars and everything lovely and beautiful in person and he just sits there staring at you? No offense Gretchen.“ She said in a hushed whisper.

„None taken,“ said Gretchen and leaned back again. „And you don’t even know everything. Faust and Mephisto are practically inseperable. They drive to school together and leave it together, they eat lunch together, they d homework in the library together and spend recess together. I’d bet my pocket money that Mephisto also comes around to Faust’s house every afternoon AND on the weekends. I’m pretty sure that the only times I ever saw Faust without him for longer periods of time was during our dates.“

„Wow. That Mephisto dude seems to be really committed,“ Marthe said in awe.

„He is. And I’m not even done yet. Mephisto carries his bag for him, he gets him his lunch, he helps him with homework and projects and studying and he would probably black his boots for him. Whenever Faust has a request for him Mephisto jumps.“ 

„Maybe he’s just really into BDSM?“ Marthe considered.

Gretchen had to fight down a blush because ew, sex, but she wasn’t yet finished.

„And did you know that he only moved here six months ago?“

„WHAT?“

„Yep. Faust told me. I think he used to live in this place called Hel before.“

„Oh. My. God. He’s only lived here for half a year and he’s already so in love with Faust? Oh my god. Gretchen, can he please fall in love with me? I need me a freak like that.“ Marthe said and stared over at Mephisto with unhidden longing.

Gretchen understood Marthe’s sentiment but if she had to be honest she couldn’t care less how sweet and cute and impressive Mephisto’s dedication to Faust was. The only thing that mattered to her was that Mephisto’s feelings for him were her way out of Faust’s affections.

Atleast if everything went to plan.

„You can’t have Mephisto, I need him to stay in love with Faust.“

„Oh? And why’s that?“

„It’s because I need him for my foolproof plan to finally get Faust to leave me alone. Faust is obviously too oblivious to get that Mephisto is massively in love with him. There is no way that he will ever notice it himself. So the logical conclusion is that I have to tell him. Because when he knows that his best friend is in love with him, chances are that he will have to somehow work through that and leave me alone during that time. And if I’m really lucky he realises that he maybe is in love with Mephisto too. Which would be great since he would then leave me alone forever.“

Marthe raised one eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed with her plan. „So, basically, you want to play matchmaker so your obnoxious boyfriend will leave you alone, preferably forever?“

Gretchen adverted her eyes and and stared at the table, suddenly unsure of her oh-so-genius plan. „Yes?“

A sly grin spread over Marthe’s face and she gently boxed against Gretchens right shoulder. „That’s an awesome plan! I always knew you had it in you! So when are you going to tell him?“

Gretchen took a deep breath and quickly glimpsed back to the other table where Faust still stared lovingly at her and Mephisto still stared at Faust, with big black unreadable eyes. This was her chance. Right know she had Marthe with her and she had witnesses and she just knew that she probably wouldn’t have the guts to tell him if not now. It was now or never.

„I’m telling him now,“ she said, certain.

„Now?“

„Now. Come over and save me if I call you.“

Gretchen pushed her chair back and stood up before Marthe could answer. The five steps to the next table seemed entirely too short and yet she had time to notice how Faust’s eyes grew huge and how a suave grin appeared on his face while Mephisto on the other hand began to glare daggers at her.

She knew that Mephisto absolutely hated her. Understandable, who wouldn’t hate the person your crush had a crush on? But sometimes she felt as if Mephisto’s hate for her was something… more, something almost basic and primal. As if he not only hated her for Faust liking her, but for her character, for her beliefs, her very being. It was unsettling. He was unsettling.

That was probably why that feeling of detestation was mutual. Everything about Mephisto was just… off. He was probably stranger and even more borderline creepy than Faust, which was definitely an accomplishment in itself. The point was that Gretchen just couldn’t exactly put her finger on what exactly was wrong with him. The only thing she knew for sure was that whenever she was too close to Mephisto and saw that sly, cocky smile of his, that smile with just a little too much teeth, something in her gut told her something is seriously wrong with him RUN.

Obviously she wasn’t a particulary big fan of him.

She sat down opposite of Faust before she could change her mind.

Mephisto behaves as if he’s basically Faust’s servant. He would do anything he asks of him. And Faust is an asshole it quickly shot through her head.

Gretchen reached out and knocked over Faust’s unscrewed water bottle before he could even open his mouth. 

„Oops. How clumsy of me,“ she said as Mephisto yelled „What the fuck Gretchen?!“ at the same time and quickly grabbed his (probably designer) coat from the table.

„ Mephisto don’t be so mean to her!“ Faust scolded his friend. „ It was obviously an accident.“

He began dabbing at the puddle on the table with a napkin as Mephisto angrily muttered „Obviously“ under his breath. Gretchen was atleast 90 % sure that he would have grabbed something and thrown it at her if Faust hadn’t bumped his elbow at his arm to get his attention.

„Go get some paper towels from the restroom, yeah? And take Wagner with you!“ He asked. Or rather commanded.

Wagner was such an unobstrusive, bland looking shy boy that Gretchen had completely failed to notice him. He also constantly looked like a very spooked weasel which made him sort of a pity sight as he trailed after Mephisto, who in turn, looked exceptionally glum and pissed off as he stomped off. Gretchen watched them go and she was sure that Mephisto actually hissed at Wagner to make him back off even more.

„So…“ said Faust and Gretchen turned her head around to face him again. „You wanted to talk to me?“ he asked and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Gretchen had to will down a shudder of revulsion and took a deep breath. Now or never, she reminded herself.

„Yes. Faust, you know that I kind of like you?“

His face lit up as he nodded eagerly.

„Well, the emphasis is on `kind of´. I mean you’re smart, most of the time you’re nice and you’re obviously very…committed to this dating thing we’ve got going,“ she began. „But Faust, there just is a thing you’re not really taking into consideration about our whole relationship.“ 

Gretchen had seen how Faust’s face had slowly fallen while she had been talking. She had already quietly been convinced that she probably wouldn’t have to beat around the bush with him for long, after all Faust was smart and he probably already had sort of known what was coming once she had started talking.

Still, as he asked „And that is?“ in a hollow, wobbly voice that almost made her feel sorry for him and for a second she toyed with the thought of just not telling him after all. But then the image of a solid gold chalice mysteriously standing on her bedside drawer flashed before he inner eye and before she even knew it the started to spill.

„Mephisto is in love with you!“ She blurted out.

Faust stared at her as if she had spoken in Swedish. He looked like a car. A car whose inner wheels in its head were rattling at the highest speed.

„Um no?“ He finally said.

„Um yes?“ She answered. „Have you even seen how he looks at you?“

„Gretchen,“ he said and smiled at her with a thin-lipped smile „ Mephisto is not in love with me. We are friends.“ 

This time Gretchen did not resist the urge to roll her eyes.

„You’re an idiot Faust.“

His eyes grew huge. She had never spoken this honest to him before. „Excuse me?! Why exactly?“

„Because you seriously believe that you and Mephisto are just friends! Or rather you believe that Mephisto only feels platonic feelings for you!“

„Well duh! Because he does!“

Gretchen closed her eyes for a millisecond and took a deep breath.

„Faust.“

„What?“ He huffed.

„You can’t seriously be blind enough to not see that Mephisto has atleast a giant crush on you,“ she said, slowly getting annoyed at him.

„Well,“ he said and crossed his arms before his chest, pouting at her. „Give me one reason for you to believe that Mephisto feels something for me.“

„One?!“ Gretchen exclaimed and let out a disbelieving chuckle. „You spend every single afternoon together? He drives you around in his car whenever you want? You told me that by the way. He constantly buys you lunch and McDonald’s and Dairy Queen even though he probably knows that you are fucking rich and can pay for junk food yourself. You told me that too! And you told me how he bought you vodka and zigarettes when you wanted to try both for some reason.“

„That doesn’t prove anything!“

„Maybe that doesn’t but I’m not done talking yet! He always tries to get you to have more fun and go out more and do things you might enjoy and don’t even start with how horrible everything he does with you is, because you are literally unable to look over the brim of your own plate and don’t realise that he just wants you to be happy and content for once, because 90 percent of the time you are a whiny, moping mess! And speaking of, the fact that he does spend so much time with you is probably the best proof I have because I only went on a few dates with you and I’m already fed up with you and he sees you every day willingly, for multiple hours, and he seems to genuinely enjoy it. Are you listening to me? You are an extremely difficult, borderline creepy and a unbelievably strange and whiny person and Mephisto loves to spend time with you!“

Faust gaped at her, open-mouthed, astounded at the flood of words. And probably the fact that she had low-key insulted him. But there was something glittering in his eyes that made Gretchen believe that he was genuinely listening to her and on top of that actually processing her words. 

„Faust, do you even notice that he does everything for you? Every single one of your wishes is his command. When you say something he prcatically leaps. Listen, I don’t know Mephisto that well but he doesn’t seem like the sort of guy who is particulary nice to others or who would do favors for anyone if he wouldn‘t get something out of it.“

Faust said nothing and just continued to stare at her, his expression had changed to something that she would describe as `vaguely distressed´.

„And the point is,“ she said, slowly seeing the end of her speech dawn. „ He is both with you. Nice and willing to do things for you, to sacrifice his entire free time for you. Like eight minutes ago you sent him away to get paper towels in the meanest and coldest way possible and he just trudged off without a peep like an obedient little puppy. If you spoke to anyone other like that you would have been bitchslapped. And if anyone else would have spoken to Mephisto like that he would have bitchslapped them.“

Faust began to frown slightly and continued to stare into the void.

Gretchen exhaled heavily through her nose and after a short debate with herself she placed her hand on top of his. His eyes met hers and Gretchen didn’t even have to will a soft expression into her eyes, it just appeared by itself. Because even when she was annoyed Gretchen was a genuinely nice person and interested in the well being of others. Even Faust’s and Mephisto’s.

„ Faust. He looks at you as if you’re the moon and the stars and everything beautiful and lovely in the world in person,“ she said, quoting Marthe. „He is in love with you, Faust.“

Faust pulled his hand away from under hers and absentmindedly leaned back in his chair. 

„Oh my god,“ he muttered, a expression of mildy shocked disbelief in his eyes. „My best friend is in love with me and I didn’t even notice.“ His eyes found hers again and he looked absolutely dumbfounded. „I am an idiot.“ 

Gretchen nodded solemnly. „Finally something you’re right about.“

Just as the words had left her mouth a bunch of paper towels flopped unceremoniously down onto the table.

„There you go,“ huffed Mephisto and walked around the table to his chair where he sat down.

„What?“ He asked as he noticed Faust staring at him with a thoughtful expression. „Are you asking yourself where Wagner is? Brad and some of his other Football friends got a hold of him and started giving him wedgies and since I don’t like him I decided not to intervene. Also it was frankly quite entertaining,“ he said and began dabbing at the water on the table. 

The corner’s of Faust’s mouth twitched a little with the beginning of a chuckle and Gretchen knew that he was amused by the short story, that little asshole. 

However he quickly grew serious again. He reached over and tapped Mephisto’s arm. And then he said something which he obviously didn’t say often.

„Thanks, Mephisto.“

Mephisto stopped swiping at the table and glanced at Faust in mild confusion. Because of the Thank You? Because of the touch? Gretchen didn’t know for sure, but what she did know was that confusion was an emotion that Mephisto apparantly wasn’t very used to or particulary comfortable with. 

„Thank me? For some paper towels? That’s nothing,“ he stuttered with a a crooked (slightly unsure?) grin.

„It’s something“ Faust insisted and Gretchen saw him battling with himself. „And I don’t say thank you nearly enough to you.“

Okay, now Mephisto looked confused. Really, genuinely confused. It didn’t suit him. His face was far too pretty for it.

„I… okay? Where is that suddenly coming from?“ He asked. He and Faust were looking right at each other and Gretchen noticed that both of them had actually unconciously changed their posture so that their bodies were openly facing the other‘s. They both seemed to be completely and absolutely focused on each other.

Gretchen decided that this was the perfect moment to leave the table inconspicously. Both of them didn’t even seem to notice her pushing her chair back and standing up and when she started to walk away she heard Faust saying:

„Listen Mephisto I hope that you know that I like you and I just wanted to tell you that I realised I haven’t been treating you the way that you deserve. I hope we might be able to talk it out? And,“ she heard him gulp heavily „to stop keeping secrets from each other?“

The rest of his words were drowned out by Wagner stumbling over a chair during his process of running away from Brad and his friends. But she had heard enough. 

Her work here was done and the soft warm feeling of satisfaction, of a job well done, started blooming in her chest. 

She really genuinely hoped that Faust and Mephisto would end up together. Certainly for her own sake but definitely also for theirs. Because while she initially had wanted to bring them together to benefit herself, somehow she knew that they had the potential to be truly and sincerely happy with each other.

Gretchen smiled and walked over to Marthe.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, kudos and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!


End file.
